John is my creepy search engine optimization ex-boyfriend

With all of my past exchanges, I've had to cross my fingers and hope that the weirdo on the other end would actually reply to my latest crazy email. However, I gave up on this conversation with John a couple of times. But he wasn't having it! The guy is a real glutton for punishment.

Here's how it began:


John's SEO shtick was the same old shit that we get over and over at my podcast blog, the AudioShocker. I wrote my response imagining there was no chance in hell "John Locke" would ever reply back. And that's just what I wanted.

But some dreams don't come true.

Not only was John's SEO sales pitch tired crap, but it was also the SAME EXACT PITCH I'd already received back in October. In fact, you can read that preposterous exchange here.

Alright John... game on, mutherfucker!



Now this is where John started to get stalker-ish. Not only did he desperately email me again within 24 hours, but he also called up the AudioShocker comment line and left a voicemail!

*sigh* This guy just doesn't get it. Time to kick things up a notch.


Shit gets even weirder after this because a few hours later John called the comment line again and hung up! But not before he left a confusing two second voicemail. CREEPY! He's seriously turning into a stalker ex-boyfriend.

At this point, I became truly curious. Just how far was John willing to go?




"im-leaving-you-its-over.jpg":




"my-awesome-cellphone.png":



"my-phone-numbers.jpg":

Apparently that last email finally broke John. I don't know why that email did it, but he never replied back. I mean, I was messing with the guy pretty bad the entire time. Why was 1-888-332-BOOBS the final straw?

2 Responses to “John is my creepy search engine optimization ex-boyfriend”

  1. fawndolyn says:

    Obviously, he's got your number now. Why would he continue emailing? Probably got a hold of the OTHER Nick Marino :D

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